Scandal | angelofeccentricity's Blog
Has anyone ever watched the show, 'Scandal'?
I just recently got really into it.
Mostly because of my mom, if you can believe it.
I caught the last bit of the recently new episode and it was super juicy.
And so, I just started watching all the episodes online.
Still on season 1, but I'm on the last episode before season 2.
I'm not really here to tell the whole plot or try to get people to join the fan ba
I just wanted to vent something.
I don't know...
I was just thinking...
I wish I could be in Olivia's place.
She's the lead character.
Black, like me, but that's not important.
Or not really.
Or maybe it is.
Maybe the fact that she is black has made me muse about how it would feel to be in her place.
It made me go into her place.
I just finished watching episode 6...
And the way Fitz looked at her...
I wish someone would look at me that way.
I never used to care!
I really never did!
I was so happy not caring about anyone.
Or how anyone felt about me.
I would walk around and not care about whether this person liked me, or whether that person liked
But lately, it's just been so hard.
Maybe I'm finally succumbing to the Valentine's Day blues.
I kept asking myself, "Why do people allow themselves to be so miserable on this day?
Relationships, especially high school relationships, don't matter, so who cares? Today is just like
any other day and it ends. And I still have to finish my homework on time and come to school
the same way I did every other day. So why does it matter?"
And now I think I know.
I think I know.
No one has ever liked me, y'know.
In like grade 5... 6...
A guy had a really big crush on me and I started to have a big crush on him, but it wasn't
a sappy love story.
Like I mentioned before, I freaked out and I pushed him away.
And it probably was the right thing because I didn't like him for the right reasons.
I liked him... because he liked me.
As soon as I learned he liked me, the next day, something pathetic switched inside of me
and I suddenly had a crush on him.
Isn't that so stupid?
My brain knows I'm so pathetic that any guy that shows any interest in me, I suddenly switch to.
I just want someone... to look at me like that.
To not just want my body.
But just want to look into my eyes... and see me.
I'm only 16, so things like that won't happen for me.
Shouldn't happen for me.
I'm still too young to even be caring.
This whole blog is stupid.
All my stupid blog entries have been stupid!
All I've talked about have been boys.
...I know Mr. Yale doesn't like me.
I'm just another student.
I know S***a doesn't, Sean doesn't, the Guy on the Bus doesn't, the Pharmacy Guy doesn't, the Bus Driver doesn't... All the other guys that I like to put into my idiotic little teenage brain.
I know it.
I've always known it.
I just try so hard to believe.
I try so hard... to believe.
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Previous Posts...Idiot., posted May 17th, 2013
Keep On Dreaming, Dreamer, posted May 11th, 2013
Him, posted April 27th, 2013
My Sister: A Passive-Agressive, Spiteful B*tch, posted April 24th, 2013
I'm Absolutely Terrified of School, posted March 31st, 2013
Love., posted March 26th, 2013
Lately..., posted March 24th, 2013
Can't Stop Feeling So Sad., posted March 9th, 2013, 2 comments
What Is This?, posted March 3rd, 2013
Scandal, posted February 16th, 2013
Thoughts, Thoughts, Thoughts..., posted February 15th, 2013
My Sister, posted February 11th, 2013
Where Is That Familiar Feeling of Relief?, posted January 31st, 2013
What Are You?, posted January 27th, 2013
Maybe. Possibly., posted January 21st, 2013
Pity Party for the Self-Consumed, posted November 22nd, 2012
Thou Shall Not Kill... Yourself, posted November 22nd, 2012
Dear, Ray., posted November 4th, 2012
Egotistical and Lying To Myself, posted October 18th, 2012
Adults Are Fascinating, posted August 13th, 2012
I'm a Loser!, posted July 21st, 2012
Slightly Pathetic, posted June 21st, 2012
An Involuntary Lone Wolf, posted June 16th, 2012
Depth of Approximately One Millimeter, posted June 7th, 2012
Purely Physical?, posted June 6th, 2012
Frickin' Jealousy, posted June 1st, 2012
A Heartwarming Glimpse, posted May 25th, 2012
The Stink of Humiliation, posted May 6th, 2012
Like the Wind, posted May 1st, 2012
Longing, posted April 7th, 2012
Hostility And Complexities, posted April 5th, 2012
Lined Paper, Plain Black Letters and Fatigue, posted March 31st, 2012
Odd, But Familiar Stifling Feeling Within My Chest, posted March 29th, 2012, 2 comments
This May Seem Pathetic, But..., posted March 29th, 2012
Fat. Fatter. Fattest., posted March 29th, 2012
A Deformed Face, posted March 28th, 2012
21 Jump Street, posted March 27th, 2012
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